Prefaced to the 'I' in Me

After that seems like an era passed by, I am back to my closest friend... my writing.  As I do not pen this down (thanks to the hubby dear who did not get me the minimalists yet :), I am already tired of hitting the backspace tab :(. But I should move on as the bundled up thoughts just do not fit in any longer in my small brain cells and are eager to just get vented out on my bounteous readers :) I promise that this time, I will not be hard on people, things, behaviors or any other innocent piece I choose to blog on as today I chose to be subjective. I chose to share the last 2 months of in-transit days of my life.

Right after my awesome 1.5 months of work from home clubbed with Diwali holidays (last best thing Wipro could bestow on me), I had this big decision coming my way to resign from my 5 year job.  The desperation drove me to it finally on 14th December Friday night 8 PM. Let me tell you I chose my good friend's place to do this online. Amidst a party going on in house…. 5-6 people talking about some random things including the country I suppose to belong to after some months :). I had a different story cooking up inside me.  However, I never knew it will just be a Submit button and my life will change at the very next click. So here I enter the most enjoyable time of any IT person's life- The Notice Period where you treat yourself as the “Damaad-e-Company “:) I thought, so I am going to have a lot of fun as opposed to the fact that God had some add-ons to it to offer me... the fun came with a price…a heavy price of winding up. Of-course you cannot just dump in the 4 year bring-it-on-i-am-married-now stuffs that you keep collecting.

So here mein-kampf begins and for me, it sure was not less than a triumph to get those lazy legs to move on and fetch for myself. However, I never knew that I will actually start enjoying this shear pain of grabbing buyers for my vintages. I was actually feeling like graduated-an-MBA degree already with my very small things of selling from carom board to car. I stretched my sales-skill to the extent of giving up on my hubby's favorite wine glasses with an air cooler as a free gift.  Ah Yes, you hear it right in Bangalore... However, even that could not fetch a buyer for my air cooler in Bangalore. Not that I am complaining but that surely added an Imperfection to my new pursued job.. :S

The easy words that describe all this now are much ignorant of the frustrations, disappointments, sleepless nights, and struggling days that a person goes through.  Every day that starts with a checklist and each item that goes off the list leaves you behind with only the memories of it to live with now. Your first fridge, your hard earned teak wood bed... your sweet little bean bags... your most precious first car. How these non- living things leave no life in you without them! The Only two supports that kept me going in my long days  of sales and signoffs was my Baba and my new found love- Cricket ... They say that loneliness makes you discover yourself. But did you ever hear about that loneliness also discovers the rarest talent in you that you never wanted to come across. I now do not remember the time when I used to hate cricket matches coming on my idiot box. I was now one of the 11 players running behind the clueless ball and to top the charts, I also learned offside batting ;) I made my bro-in-law (Teju Baba) so proud of me..

Finally the final week came and it brought along my very personal agony aunts with it, my lovely moms. True the saying that goes - God cannot be everywhere and so he created a mother.  Only I know how relieved I was and only my moms know how much work their darling daughter levied on them and enjoyed the privilege of being their responsibility. Accompanied by their better halves were their only respite and my extra bonus of getting rid of even the last bits of pack up... I do remember the last day when I was packing up my travelling bag. All five of us had no impressions of being sad about the farewell, we never got a minute to even sit and moan about it , fortunate enough for the same.  In fact, there was a vibe getting exchanged between us of just running away as fast as we could from all this and all these.. :D cartons, bags and just more and more of the same...

At last, fastening my seat belt to take off, there came only one thought to my mind. All this that ended on such a satisfying note of success actually brushed me through myself of who I was and what all I was capable of handling and managing all alone... I was smiling within... a tear of happiness fell on my diary and wrote this whole article then and there itself... A Preface to Myself...

I Am Because I Am!

"Learn this now and learn it well, my daughter. Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always. You remember that, Mariam" - Thousand Splendid Suns

When I read this, although I could not relate to it by any means, it did stir me deep down. After all this is being written, being read, been written, been read, there could be some reality bites to it. As the saying goes in Hindi - "Saahitya Samaj Ka Aaiyana Hota Hain". This could be the other half of the world I will never see myself.

Unanswered remained my question that should I be writing on something I do not relate to, so I chose to anyway pen down my thoughts. I do not intend to touch base on what women despite being called of 20th century is made to go through. We have enough FB feeds to revise, let alone the news channels. Natural human instinct make us like, share,comment on atrocities and heinous acts against women. A sad smiley is just a colon and a bracket away to express our feelings :(.

But what I feel the most pity thing is that we pity ourselves. Right from the time when we get a sense of society, we are given some golden rules of life -
Age of 10 - do as your father says!
Age of 20 - do as your boy friend says!
Age of 40 - do as your husband says!
Age of 60 - do as your children say!
Age of 80 - High time, you stop doing anything! We shall take care!

I do not totally deny this as being in an Indian society, it is the easiest and safest way I can lead my whole life! Well guarded!
But what we need to realize is that we are not because of these relationships! We are and so are they existing! We should realize our potentials before anyone else define them for us! 

Step Out, take a stance, commit some mistakes, learn a few lessons! Account for your own life! There is only one imperfect life that we are gifted with! Live it, because you are worth it! 

After all, we might share the same womb but we shall never share the same grave! 

Kuch Bachpan Sa...!

Aaj Sone De Mujhe

Ki Num Palko Pe Kuch Kum Sapno Ko

Jee Bhar Jee Loon...

Apni Best Friend Ke Tiffin Mein Band Chaar Angoor Ke Daane

Jab Maths Exam Paper Ke Sawaalo Se Zyada Zaruri The

Aaj Us Adhoore Parche Ko Ek Nazar Dekh Loon....

Sone De Mujhe Ki Shayad Ye Sapana

Bachpan Mein Khoyi Vo Copy , Pencil , Tiffin , Rumaal

Need Ke Baadal Se Dhoondh Laaye

Jo Tha Mera Apna....

Sone De Mujhe Ki Shayad Ye Sapna

Mujhe Fir Us Raaste Se Le Jaaye Jahaan Main Khadi Thi

Dosti Se Badhe Us Ladke Ke Hath Parakh Loon

Jise Namsate Kar Main Chal Padi Thi.... :)

Aaj Sone De Mujhe Ki Shayad Sapno Ki

Paalki Le Chale Mujhe Mere Baba Ke Ghar Aangan Mein

Jahaan Rachaya Gudde Guddi Ka Byah-Mela...

Dopeher Ki Kadakti Dhoop Mei Khela

Gippe Ka Khel Akela...

Julie Aur Mili Ko Puchkaarte Bitaaye Kitne Din Kal Ke

Aaj Bhi Pooch Baithe Hain Vo Sawaal

15 Furvury Ki Us Vidaai Raat Ye Aansoo Kyu Nahi Chalke...! :) 

My Name Is Nirbhaya

My Name Is Nirbhaya

I do not step out after 7 PM

I do not wear the clothes I wish to wear

I do not wander on the roads of my own country alone

I bow my head in silence when I am hit by comments

My Name Is Nirbhaya,

And this is how I am born to live in India.

However, I feel jealous when I see an extra candy in my brother’s hand

I feel terrible when I am betrayed by my boy friend

I feel a puppet when I am displayed to the strangers from the matrimony

I felt the anger within me when they were brutally beating up my friend in the bus

I felt strong to fight back in the ICU when I saw hopelessness in the eyes of that doctor and when they were stitching my wounds all torn by the savages

Instead, I could have felt pride being the support to my same brother after my studies

I could have felt contented buying a new car for my father

I could have felt so lucky to make my friends meet my soul mate

I could have felt the warm hug by my cute little son

Alas, My Name Is Nirbhaya

And I lived to die for the sons of India. 

                                                   

                  

"Maano Ya Naa Maano"

I chose this title for my write-up because...mm... it sounds as fictional as much as it sounds truth. It for sure punches you right between your eyes with a challenge.  Beating all my favorite subjects of expression, I dare take this further one level up. There have always been some questions haunting me a good long years. Am I spiritual? Am I religious? Or, for that matter, do I believe in God?

For which my answer is obvious as much as is simpler to say - "YES I DO". It is easier because I spare myself from many stares..or may be not! Because, then the follow up comes as - Do I believe in God and Do I practice God?

Let's make this simpler by saying - Yes I do believe there is someone taking care of me when I am fast asleep. Someone who makes sure I don't forget to breathe in my deep sleep. Someone who makes sure, I wake up the next morning. Someone who makes me dream of a bright sunny day awaiting this dark lonely night.

However, I am not proud of the fact that I believe in him but do not practice him often. And I really wish and imagine myself doing it in a couple of years down the lane when I will have my someone to pass on my belief to. Anyways, that's another day and how can I be sure of the day even coming in my life. I don't have a crystal ball :)

Hereby, I sign off leaving this up to you readers, to take 2 minutes out of your busy day and think ...think why am I reading this article till the end if it doesn't even make any sense to me. Think of a day when your eyes do not support you to control your emotions. I give you a little trick out there! Raise yourself up to him and look towards him. It will surely help you not to weep salt out.

Only difference that lies here - You are happy taking it as the Law of Gravity and I am happy believing in HIM!

*****************************Stay Blessed*****************************

Straight From The Heart!

After scribbling at least half the pages of my diary, here I come with my bundle of thoughts again. It took me so much time to write this..For the readers, it might not even strike a note, but for me..it means a lot! Ah...so many thoughts and I am getting no good words to sum them up...Sometimes, the question comes to my mind - Is it really always necessary to get hold of some flashy impressive words to pen down your thoughts?? Can I be for a change, a blogger who scribes or cribs for herself! So here I go dedicate this to myself ?

Thoughts or Dangling Thoughts..I don't know..I really have no idea and I don't mind it.

I don't mind being told to be organised, to plan my day, to spend some quality time and stop watching those nasty TV serials..

I don't mind being told that I need to grow up some day and be responsible for myself...

I don't mind doing those crazy stuffs I never intended to do, bet my life to those crazy rides just not to upset you!

I don't mind fighting all those days together with you without realizing how wrong I was...

I don't mind doing the same mistakes again till you are there to hold me to tell me - Baby that was so awful of you , but I love you!

But I do mind that I am watching the dubbed south movies on Set Max and I hate that I am loving them now..

I do mind watching a T-20 series and clapping my hands for the last three balls being bowled to the Indian team..

I do mind reading the news paper with the cup of tea in my hand every morning..how I wish I knew nothing of this world around me..

I do mind now that I am doing all those things which I never thought of doing...

I do mind this day when I have all these dangling thoughts around me and not you and that I have to write this to you!

However, in the end, it doesn't even matter..as all these things make me feel you are right here beside me despite of being miles apart..I know..You are here for me and I am there for You!

P.S. I Love You!

The You Know Mystery

There are two major categories of homo-sapiens that are held responsible for exploring and holding stakes for the most common lingual platform in 2012 India – “The Hinglish”. One of them, whom I tag as “Can’t be able to” are the extremists. The less fortunate group is the activists. I would pardon myself for not threading out the extremists as I give them the benefit of doubt to someday when the pessimist of all “Can’t” will be erased and replaced. The activists are the ones, prolly living in ignorance. As my better half quotes “2 karod mein mein 4 karod ki acting”; I will use its essence to describe the activists. They are the ones in absolute love with the fillers so much so that the main subject loses interest in lieu of the fillers popping in and out every second-second.

One fine evening on the coffee table with two of my acquaintances, I came across my not-very-scarcely-found activists. As usual random topics from no-where were targeted until the most obvious of them emerged. It is as obvious as I am surprisingly deprived of- English Movies. I am sure to fall short of lines if I try to find better explanation to its ‘Why?’ in this Hindi cheesy movie – a strict No-No world. I would take the liberty of it being regardless of the main subject in here, indeed. Coming back to the point, one of us kicked off the conversation with the movie seen on one of the lazy weekends. Helpless, I chose to use my good listener skill not knowing being fore-warned is being four-armed. Anyways!

The idea behind the movie was “murder mystery, You Know”, as quoted. The movie starts with a spat between the two business partners, You Know, followed by an unusual car accident You Know which takes its toll on one of the partner’s life, You Know. The inner voice in me blurted out – Plausible is the word as most of murder mysteries share the same ignition. Well, the story takes a turn when the wife of the deceased, You Know…Hang On, no I don’t know as you haven’t introduced me to the important character in the ignorance of You Knows. I managed to keep my inner voice hushed. The wife is found being friendly You Know (:) Yes Yes I know) with the left alone partner, You Know. Investigators come in action, You Know, when it is revealed that the most obvious suspect is also killed, You Know. No I would not have known till that last line.However, mystery unfolds with the killers being caught red-handed, You Know and the “sawaal 2 Karod ka” comes in. Guess who? Finally the inner voice revolted “How would the You Know will know”???

Most awaited answer comes at last – the two wives killed their respective husbands as they were les(b)-ob-vious reasons ;). My next expression had-to-be Surprised,Amazed and Shocked was totally denying the inner voice in me – Yes, I would have known all this if you would have named the movie before narrating it. Alas! The You Know Mystery took its toll on my memory!

“Metro Girl “– An Edge over ME

Disclaimer: Brand names being used in this article have no relevance with the marketing/de-marketing for the same. They are purely being referred to make this article catchy! :)

Having spent last 5 years of my life in Sub-Metros and Videsh and being a congenital B-tier city girl; I finally gather my bits of courage to chalk down my thoughts. A trend turned into “Matter of Fact” today suggests lookism appeals for greater footage. Agreed! Before putting up my final draft, I did exchange few articulations with "The Webster"

Donning a tang top, using slangs like fillers, beautifying my ankle with a dragon tattoo, carrying the latest handset in my Baggit – fetch me “Cool Chic” tag. Wearing a Biba salwar , Soch kurti, Kolhapurislip-ons or getting home by 9ish (that’s early:  punn intended ) gets me the “Simple Girl” crown! Ironical is the fact that getaways from being insipid just cost me a few clothes and easily attained slangs.

An age old debate on Women Liberalization has been sidelined by the new era of personification by the very species itself. Am I not de-touring my own 22 years of life? Unlearning the up-bringing? Yes, I am a human being who gets easily wide-eyed by the sparkling limelight. It does account for a part of my modernization. How does it substitute for the very substance in me?

I can be opinionated, but, do I need to decorate my lingo with ‘f* and a*’s to keep my stance against the uncalled-for society acts. How can the attitude of “being someone else” get me “My Identity”???  While drafting this, I did take some opinions and I was advised to complete the article. Should I add more to it or should I leave it up to you to ponder? If I do, I might sound a prejudiced chunk of flaunted lines. Then I realized that if the article is deprived of my thinking, it will not be fair enough with the readers who will miss the chance of judging me. So here I go!

Yes, I am a techno savvy modern Indian Woman who likes to dress in her best black dress for a party. Who is still aspiring to own a smart phone (wise enough to buy the latest one whenever she does:)..Who still plans to wear an Indian Saree on a traditional day (despite of the fact that she still doesn’t know how to)…Has taken a step out of her little homeland and dared to be an alien in the land of white skins. Who still is jealous of not being able to wear a 28” waist jean…Who still waits for her husband to decide on her smallest piece of shopping…Who still fear to preserve her identity amidst the urbanization!

"Life Vs. Relationships"

When the thought came to my mind and I started to pen down my views, the amateur writer in me was fighting out to get a perfect "Title". The very "As-Opposed-To" synonym that I have dared to use to head my note kept on instigating and inspiring me. Provoking me to find an apt game/sport analogy to suit my hypothetical opponents - Life and Relationships! However, as I went down my own thought process; I realized there isn't any! Time for "Reality Check" made me get the fact that it is not a game and there are no set rules. There is hardly a constant pi that declares a winner/loser. Yet, the very title justifies itself many a times being on logger heads.

An infant in mother's womb, when kicks off for nth reason, he is far from the fact how much pain escorted with weird happiness he gives to the mother.

It is an irony the very "Red" mark in the Report Card hurts the child as it dissapoints his parents. It takes its toll on the weekend that goes without a family outing and leaves many questions unanswered.Many feelings not shared and makes room for presumptions!

It is doleful to see that how a phone call that goes unanswered or missed by your beloved makes you go through the journey of n years of togetherness in a minute or two. To think it is all over after a small argument. That very moment, wish we could close our eyes and feel how blessed our life could have been without this electronic gadget.

Once told by my mother - It takes a minute to break away from relations, but takes an entire life to build and nurture them! In the race of being a winner , the only one that lose out is your Relationship! It will lose the very "Life" !

Accept and move on as there will be no second innings to meet the same opponent to replay! :)

A Libran In My Life!

I am a Piscean..a true Piscean..and I know some of you who might read this note "by-mistake" may not agree to this sun-sign theory..but I do...I do coz I live it! Yes, many a times!

A glass full of emotions, success, luxury, drama, love, gossips, tears, happiness is what we see our picture of LIFE! A White Flower, Pink Stoll, Family Picture on the wall, IPOD full of cheezy numbers, Cluttered Bed, A grey Sketch...we like it all together! Every day a new day, a new beginning is a must for us because we deal with mood swings! One day the couch is cluttered with clothes, a plate with some left overs and a bottle which is always half filled with H2o. Lousy!

Another day with appreciations at work, Home made Breakfast to Dinner, Dishes washed and atleast 10 glasses of water in a day! Just Perfect! This is me! A True Piscean who could never survive without the very existing Libran in her Life!

A true Libran! Ironed shirts, Collored Tees, Classics Literature, Some melodious numbers, Spotless home, every thing in its place! A Balanced Libran .. Whose day does'nt start without a Cuppa-Tea and newspaper in hand! A Libran who makes sure he doesnt miss the shuttle to his office, reach there in time. A person who will never let personal calls stop him  from  meeting his deliverables..A person who will not even let go a small email loosely drafted..who applies spell&grammar checks, makes all effort to make each text box of Visio presentation slide of same size..even though that presentation belonged to his wife..No, this is not because he is work-aholic...so that he leaves for home timely with a satisfaction in his eyes to spend a nice evening with his wife! A libran who likes to not only read before he sleeps but also save his precious collection of books with cellophane sheets..whose cupboard is well arranged with ironed shirts for next day.. A new day of Perfection! A new day of Satisfaction!

The very two sun-signed people could better-half each other! Only because they make a complete life together! :)