Happy New Year

It's a bright sunny day with the sky so clear , the birds chirpier that they had no fear.. The light shining high through the clouds that fly ..I could not ask for more, from the days gone by ...

The life that stood by my window seems long gone.. The friends and the fellows my heart once won... I wish this Christmas brings its Santa to me.. The moments I wished I wanted in to be..

Bring them all as I pack my bag .. Keep them safe till I catch up with the lag.. Whisper in the ear of the few days of this year..let me flow smooth in the change that I fear... Lighten up my heart for all that is dear... Let me wish myself - A Happy New Year...

Shared from Google Keep

Bazaar

Bike Yahaan Har Bazaar Bike

Kabhi Samaan To Kahi Dar Daar Bike

Hakikaton Se Sarabor Is Duniya Mein

Chand Khayalon Ke Bhi Pulaav Bike

Koi Kalaa Ki, Toh Koi Salaah Ki

Ajab Gajab Hain Yeh Khareed Balaa Ki

Saam Daam Dand Bhed Ke Bal Par

Sadhu Sant Sang Bhagwan Bike

Beete Din Bachpan Ke

Jab Chile Ghutno Par Jeet Ke Marham Lage

Aaj Khel Ke Maidaano Mein

Haar, Jeet Se Dugne Daam Bike

Har Daav Par Lage Daam Toh Kahin

Har Daam Par Lage Daav Dikhen

Mol Lagaye Kis Cheez Ka Bandhu

Yahaan Jal Jeevan Har Bhaav Bike

Bike Yahaan Har Bazaar Bike!

A Piece Of My Perfect Pie

Ever since we are born and brought up in this world, there is a perfect plan that goes on forever in our minds.  We exist, is a proof of a plan well executed by our parents :) or otherwise! ;) A plan, that starts from a midnight queue by our parents to get us into the best of the schools in their view and which finally slows down its pace (never seizes though) when we move out to make a living with some stranger out there in the world. However, as they say, you are more of what you inherit and less of what you make yourself to be. The first thing that you inherit is to plan your life! Plan a Perfect seiz

Like every other person, even I planned and failed many a times during the execution. Dreamed to be a singer and ended up being an engineer. Weird! Planned to live initial lovey-dovey married years and ended up away from hubby in a foreign land for more than a year! Then, planned to work together with hubby in the same foreign land and ended up being a house wife! Weirder! Then planned to be a happy housewife and I guess now ending up wanting to work again! Epic Weird!

 

It’s amusing that not even we plan our lives, we also tend to work out things to fit our friends and family and their lives too into it. Being a single we party hard, call the long lost friends which were never called before and which never will be called after the party too! There are some specially planned girl-shops-out days and guys-night-in nights that are alibis to our perfect “single” life!   Suddenly the late 20s are at the doorstep and time to Say Sayonara to Singlehood shows up. It happened to me in my early 20s and so I do not know the true flavor of that farewell. As I was being married to the one I always wanted to be with, it was a good plan in progress!

Being married in your early 20s is not as difficult as being married to a person in His early 20s too! :P Not generalizing, but a girl is happy and on cloud 9 when she is married as opposed to a guy for whom it is a treacherous journey to leave behind all his bro-talks, bro-walks and bro-socks for a house with a girl hovering over to make him lower the toilet seat every now and then. Eventually, they realize this was not what they planned for! And then starts the new saga of planning a “two-together life”! It is again not as simple as it looks. The tricky part creeps in when you both want to have fun and still save lots of money at the same time! Weirdoes’! Who can beat that?  

 

However, as life takes its toll on your perfect plan, there comes a time when you have to leave your fun behind to grab opportunities and go for the run. Along came the temporary singlehood again in our marital status! It is hilarious that you miss something more and more crazy in your life when you are questioned about it by others! All the long lost friends ping you that very time or it seems that way :) I do not know! And then all the opportunities that you rolled your life for seem to cease. For me, it happened a little late. But when it did, happened for good!

 

Finally we were back again in our nest and the never ending plans started all over again!

This was the best time of my life when I was back with hubby after a long time and was going to meet some wonderful people in my life who will mark some awesome dates forever in my calendar. I am sure those days Koramangala dinner home deliveries were scaling to the highest sales point. Honored to claim the credits! A bunch of married couples done with their first anniversaries and planning their respective futures over A Bottoms Up! I remember the Birthday 2012 when we, with one of the couples (friends), were determined to be in a pub and almost fought like teenagers to let us in post 22:30! Within 5 minutes of argument, we came back to behaving like married people do! Headed back home!  A perfect plan to go-disc with friends-for-life made us spend an amount close to my first pay check ever! Coming back to life the other day was full of self-restraining orders! A trip to Pondicherry with 6 people packed up in a car, driving day and night and all we remember from that is how we all snuggled up in a single room and ate like never before! Everything seemed so meant to be with! All we needed was one Goa trip to nail “the more the merrier” perfect life! Hence, the already jinxed planning started. And as fate had to call an intervention, we parted our ways to three different parts of the world before we could even fuel up for the awesome trip.

 

Here I stand today on a verge of my little less than a mid-life and the decided years ahead of me with a bucket full of to-dos and not-to-dos for me, for my future kids and if life permits, their kids too. :) Today, when I see a girl rushing for her office day, I see the life I left behind which did not seem so perfect those days. :) When I see a lady getting her kids to school, I see myself not at a perfect spot than hers.:)  All these years, all I have learned is that I shall never stop planning my piece of perfect life! Some will work, some were not meant to and some never will. If all perfect plans would have worked out well, I think I would have run out my batteries to live more of my life!

 

 In the end, all that matters is I still have some perfect moments yet to come, some perfect people yet to meet in my perfect life yet to live! :)

Happiness - the most expensive of the lots??

If Only, true happiness could be bought along with smile correction surgeries. This could have been hottest deal in the market!

Gone are the days, when we had one channel to be watched on TV. How we longed for Wednesdays Chitrahaar or Sundays Ducktails! Gone are the days when a letter by a cousin or a friend made our day. Gone are the days when even a 10Rs dress circle ticket for a Yash Raj Movie  was considered a V for Victory. Even the constant whistlers never bothered us. Gone are the days when we dreamed of 2 Diwali s in an year just to wear new clothes.
Before I get caught in my own nostalgia, let me not deviate from the idea behind my write-up. As it is not what I want you to rendezvous with your 90's flashbacks.

Because 20-30 years down the lane, gone will be these days too. Gone will be the days where we have two different sources of entertainment - TV and Internet. You never know, a gadget might suffice for one click multitasking entertainment. Gone will be the days when only Saas Bahus make Shandyantras  in the daily soaps (well, this one will be a respite for many ;), only to realize Damaad-Sasur taking the stage over ;) ;)
Gone will be the days of tweeting, posting pics, social networking when we might be able to create our own virtual world of relatives and loved ones with a touch screen technology. (lucky lovebirds of that era :). Gone will be the days of theater and cinema when we might expect a superstar coming on an hourly basis for a live entertainment @ home. :P 
And looking at the history sheet of attires (getting shorter day by day), I fear people might not need them any more to create any more generation gaps between their waist lines. 

With the rocket speed revolutions, one thing that is getting expensive and rarely found is true happiness. Yesterday, a single new dress kept me going the whole year. Today, even my exorbitant shopping spree cannot pacify me :( I am on cloud 9 with my iPhone 2/3/4 until someone gets the new launched iPhone 5.
Being competitive is important for survival, but it can never be the parameter to gauge happiness in your life.

It is said, happiness is found in the small moments of your life. Just an add-on of my philosophy - if you can not find those moments, create your own. Ever since we grow up, we are instilled with a competitive spirit and we barge in the race to tune into the "Run Forest Run". Every other day, we achieve a target to supersede, another one is right there at our doorstep even before we could cherish the accomplishment. This notion never did make a grip on me all through my life. 
Although, I tried to be a part of the crowd, the greater minds had an alibi for the unsuccessful targets too. They suggested, if you fail to succeed, look upon the more miserable of the lots. This will soothe you down. You will find yourself better off?? Even this never did ring a bell to me.  

Do I need to look at either of the sides to be successful and lead a happy life? What if, I competed with my present. What if, I try to better my tomorrow than my yesterday. At least, I will not kill myself keeping myself  unhappy for I could not be someone or keeping myself contented because there is a bigger loser standing out there. As expected, this philosophy did not work wonders in my time,when I was in the race :). However, now that I am an adult and I have no fixed percentage to judge my life, my philosophy is what keeps me going even in the darkest of the days of my life. With the least of what I could achieve by myself, I am happy to realize that I did better my days everyday. Each day, I  slept peacefully just asking a question to myself, was my today happier than my yesterday?

Life gives you endless reasons to compete, compare, mourn, bitch about, get upset over something or with someone. If only, you could quell them and find yourself only one reason to hold on to your smile at the end of each day that ends.

Ik Naya Aashiyaa..

Is oor chala, Kis chor chala, Kyu Dhoondh Raha Tu Apni Zameen
Har Nayi Dagar Har Mod Chala, Kyu Theher Gayi Phir Bhi Namee…
Jis Oor Chala, Jo Shor Mila, Us Bheed Ko Na Apnaaye
Us Bheed Ko Cheer, Tu Jis Bhor Chala, Har Ant Andhera Ban Jaye…

Jo Khoj Raha Tu Yaha Vahan, Sab Dhoondh Dhoondh Pachataaye
Har Shodh Mein, Har Bodh Mein, Vo Khoj Leen Ho Jaaye…
Har Dhoop Chala, Har Chaav Mila, Kisi Thor Tu Naa Ruk Paaye
Jo Khoj Raha Tu Yaha Vahan, Har Aks Tere Pathraaye..

Ik Dagar Jo Peeche Chodh Chala, Ik Zameen Jo Tu Thukraaye
Har Nayi Dagar Ik Nayi Zameen, Ik Naya Aakash Banaye..
Jo Waqt Chala, Har Ghaav Mila, Har Ghaav Cheekh Chillaye
Har Cheez Yaha Par Nayi Mile, Kyu Naye Sukoon Tu Na Apnaaye..
Har Waqt Mila Ik Naya Gila, Tu Apne Andar Paaye
Kis Oor Chala Kis Mod Chala, Ab Khud Hi Boojh Na Paaye..

Ik Dagar Jo Peeche Chodh Chala, Vo Mod Chalein, Chal Jaayein.
Vo Zameen Jo Teri Apni Thi, Vo Sukoon Jo Tujhe Apnaaye.
Ye Jaanta, Ye Maanta, Har Yaad Jo Tu Bisraayein
Har Dagar Par Apna Nishaan, Nayi dagar Tu Phirta Jaaye
Is Daud Mein, Us Shor Mein, Jo Raah Tere Pathraaye
Bas Yaad Rakh , Parindey Naadaan
Har Dagar Par, Har Pagar Par, Vo Mod Tujhe Na Bisraayein!

What Good Have I Done Staying Home?

This is the most caught off balance venture in my authorship where I just took off with my pen. It has been a month of waiting to let my diary belt down my feelings and I found nothing but dust being eaten by my writing table. As unbelievable it may sound, it is a slow poison for a writer with no concrete thoughts to judge itself on.Specially for the nasty ones, who refuse to stay put.

Prying on the thought what took me so long, I only get laid on with questions to myself. Will I do good expressing myself? Will I justify myself hiding the truth or hiding away from one?Fortunate enough to be no slow witted, I found my answer that explained my fears – Inhibitions. It scares me to hell how just being stubborn on being discrete inhibits you from what might have changed your life or at least one gratified day in your life.

I have been a singer all my teens, graduated in music in my matriculation days. But what if, 11 years of aloofness affected my God’s gift and I make a fool out of myself while humming a few lines?

I love to dance and did myself some group performances. However, if I just hurt my ankle while I try some moves on and what if people noticed that I wasn't ever good enough for it?

I have never been a good debater in my school days. However, does that mean I shy away from putting up my feelings outright to my in laws about what I feel being wronged to?

Should I ever be trying those beautiful stilettos I own, when I know I will stumble upon the next step I takeout of this door?

Oh, Yes! I do not know the repercussions.However, I definitely know how I sit on my couch moaning over my second coffee, dangling over TV channels just to wonder what good have I done staying home? What if, I tried shedding my inhibitions just to explore and be definite about the things; I am good or bad at.

Sneak out, crawl down or bud away to blossom. Lest you will never know how less beautiful you make this world without you. 

Here I sign-off blooming out of my discretion and writing my day off without judging my thoughts. Hence, breaking my writer’s block forever? I Guess? ;)

Prefaced to the 'I' in Me

After that seems like an era passed by, I am back to my closest friend... my writing.  As I do not pen this down (thanks to the hubby dear who did not get me the minimalists yet :), I am already tired of hitting the backspace tab :(. But I should move on as the bundled up thoughts just do not fit in any longer in my small brain cells and are eager to just get vented out on my bounteous readers :) I promise that this time, I will not be hard on people, things, behaviors or any other innocent piece I choose to blog on as today I chose to be subjective. I chose to share the last 2 months of in-transit days of my life.

Right after my awesome 1.5 months of work from home clubbed with Diwali holidays (last best thing Wipro could bestow on me), I had this big decision coming my way to resign from my 5 year job.  The desperation drove me to it finally on 14th December Friday night 8 PM. Let me tell you I chose my good friend's place to do this online. Amidst a party going on in house…. 5-6 people talking about some random things including the country I suppose to belong to after some months :). I had a different story cooking up inside me.  However, I never knew it will just be a Submit button and my life will change at the very next click. So here I enter the most enjoyable time of any IT person's life- The Notice Period where you treat yourself as the “Damaad-e-Company “:) I thought, so I am going to have a lot of fun as opposed to the fact that God had some add-ons to it to offer me... the fun came with a price…a heavy price of winding up. Of-course you cannot just dump in the 4 year bring-it-on-i-am-married-now stuffs that you keep collecting.

So here mein-kampf begins and for me, it sure was not less than a triumph to get those lazy legs to move on and fetch for myself. However, I never knew that I will actually start enjoying this shear pain of grabbing buyers for my vintages. I was actually feeling like graduated-an-MBA degree already with my very small things of selling from carom board to car. I stretched my sales-skill to the extent of giving up on my hubby's favorite wine glasses with an air cooler as a free gift.  Ah Yes, you hear it right in Bangalore... However, even that could not fetch a buyer for my air cooler in Bangalore. Not that I am complaining but that surely added an Imperfection to my new pursued job.. :S

The easy words that describe all this now are much ignorant of the frustrations, disappointments, sleepless nights, and struggling days that a person goes through.  Every day that starts with a checklist and each item that goes off the list leaves you behind with only the memories of it to live with now. Your first fridge, your hard earned teak wood bed... your sweet little bean bags... your most precious first car. How these non- living things leave no life in you without them! The Only two supports that kept me going in my long days  of sales and signoffs was my Baba and my new found love- Cricket ... They say that loneliness makes you discover yourself. But did you ever hear about that loneliness also discovers the rarest talent in you that you never wanted to come across. I now do not remember the time when I used to hate cricket matches coming on my idiot box. I was now one of the 11 players running behind the clueless ball and to top the charts, I also learned offside batting ;) I made my bro-in-law (Teju Baba) so proud of me..

Finally the final week came and it brought along my very personal agony aunts with it, my lovely moms. True the saying that goes - God cannot be everywhere and so he created a mother.  Only I know how relieved I was and only my moms know how much work their darling daughter levied on them and enjoyed the privilege of being their responsibility. Accompanied by their better halves were their only respite and my extra bonus of getting rid of even the last bits of pack up... I do remember the last day when I was packing up my travelling bag. All five of us had no impressions of being sad about the farewell, we never got a minute to even sit and moan about it , fortunate enough for the same.  In fact, there was a vibe getting exchanged between us of just running away as fast as we could from all this and all these.. :D cartons, bags and just more and more of the same...

At last, fastening my seat belt to take off, there came only one thought to my mind. All this that ended on such a satisfying note of success actually brushed me through myself of who I was and what all I was capable of handling and managing all alone... I was smiling within... a tear of happiness fell on my diary and wrote this whole article then and there itself... A Preface to Myself...

I Am Because I Am!

"Learn this now and learn it well, my daughter. Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always. You remember that, Mariam" - Thousand Splendid Suns

When I read this, although I could not relate to it by any means, it did stir me deep down. After all this is being written, being read, been written, been read, there could be some reality bites to it. As the saying goes in Hindi - "Saahitya Samaj Ka Aaiyana Hota Hain". This could be the other half of the world I will never see myself.

Unanswered remained my question that should I be writing on something I do not relate to, so I chose to anyway pen down my thoughts. I do not intend to touch base on what women despite being called of 20th century is made to go through. We have enough FB feeds to revise, let alone the news channels. Natural human instinct make us like, share,comment on atrocities and heinous acts against women. A sad smiley is just a colon and a bracket away to express our feelings :(.

But what I feel the most pity thing is that we pity ourselves. Right from the time when we get a sense of society, we are given some golden rules of life -
Age of 10 - do as your father says!
Age of 20 - do as your boy friend says!
Age of 40 - do as your husband says!
Age of 60 - do as your children say!
Age of 80 - High time, you stop doing anything! We shall take care!

I do not totally deny this as being in an Indian society, it is the easiest and safest way I can lead my whole life! Well guarded!
But what we need to realize is that we are not because of these relationships! We are and so are they existing! We should realize our potentials before anyone else define them for us! 

Step Out, take a stance, commit some mistakes, learn a few lessons! Account for your own life! There is only one imperfect life that we are gifted with! Live it, because you are worth it! 

After all, we might share the same womb but we shall never share the same grave! 

Kuch Bachpan Sa...!

Aaj Sone De Mujhe

Ki Num Palko Pe Kuch Kum Sapno Ko

Jee Bhar Jee Loon...

Apni Best Friend Ke Tiffin Mein Band Chaar Angoor Ke Daane

Jab Maths Exam Paper Ke Sawaalo Se Zyada Zaruri The

Aaj Us Adhoore Parche Ko Ek Nazar Dekh Loon....

Sone De Mujhe Ki Shayad Ye Sapana

Bachpan Mein Khoyi Vo Copy , Pencil , Tiffin , Rumaal

Need Ke Baadal Se Dhoondh Laaye

Jo Tha Mera Apna....

Sone De Mujhe Ki Shayad Ye Sapna

Mujhe Fir Us Raaste Se Le Jaaye Jahaan Main Khadi Thi

Dosti Se Badhe Us Ladke Ke Hath Parakh Loon

Jise Namsate Kar Main Chal Padi Thi.... :)

Aaj Sone De Mujhe Ki Shayad Sapno Ki

Paalki Le Chale Mujhe Mere Baba Ke Ghar Aangan Mein

Jahaan Rachaya Gudde Guddi Ka Byah-Mela...

Dopeher Ki Kadakti Dhoop Mei Khela

Gippe Ka Khel Akela...

Julie Aur Mili Ko Puchkaarte Bitaaye Kitne Din Kal Ke

Aaj Bhi Pooch Baithe Hain Vo Sawaal

15 Furvury Ki Us Vidaai Raat Ye Aansoo Kyu Nahi Chalke...! :)